I like you, Shani. You're a funny person. But there are limits. Flying in an airplane at 50,000 feet in a light pullover and Crocs is an unnatural act. It is ITSELF an affront to nature. You are not supposed to be in the air. AT ALL.

At least have the decency to close the shade.

Had Mother Nature wanted you to have a bird's eye view, she would have made you an eagle, Shani. Looking down on the very earth you should be walking on surely displeases her mightily.

You claim that to board a plane and not raise the shade is to disrespect her, but your disrespect happened long before, even before you raced through the airport to make the flight just as the doors were closing and then complained that there was no room in the overhead bin for your oversized luggage [I do not know that you have done this, but considering your stance on shade positioning, I would not put it past you.]

No. You have flipped off Mother Nature every time you have sat in your jammies, sipping chamomile from your oversized "My Other Cup Is A Hic" mug, and confirmed your credit card information with Delta.

But since we're both going to continue to fly, the least we can do is not look out the window at the ground like a heathen mooning a church.

The ground that is crisscrossed with these things called "roads", for a reason.

Foot trails not contrails, Shani.

Or at least close the shade.

Thanks for listening.

[Also, you should know that I say your name correctly in my mind. You're welcome.]