Because your comments deserve a thoughtful response...

"Well at the moment your son has the ability to realise that smack talk is unrelated to his actual feelings about some minority."

My son's comments weren't "smack talk". They were not directed AT people. He did not call someone that he didn't like gay as an insult.

Because I would have nipped that shit in the bud instantly.

And he hadn't reasoned his way to using gay in a derogatory fashion, either. In fact, he wasn't using reason, at all. Which was a big part of the problem.

The "feelings" I care about in this situation are two-fold. First, I care about his feelings--about how he thinks. I don't want my son to, even casually, associate gayness with negativity. Because that is bullshit.

Second, I care about the feelings of other people. That is a part of being a good person. There is no way to please everyone, of course, but this use of gay a s a stand in for "bad", is insulting, and even hurtful even if not directed at anyone. Coupled with the fact that it is unnecessary, it is problematic.

"You of course realise that too, but you chose to ignore it because you want Medium status by comparing your son's honestly innocent comments to disregard for the Stonewall riots."

Nope. I realized no such thing, as I said above. Instead, I wrote a lighthearted piece about how it was wrong. And I've taken a lot of heat in the comments because I didn't write about some passionate lecture I gave him in which I chastised him for being terrible.

Instead, I vowed NOT to write about it. But let me just say to you what I've said to him over the years--and it has been years--since the initial conversation.

Thoughts lead to words and words lead to actions. Before we victimize, we first dehumanize. Thugs, bullies, and despots know that the best way to get decent people to be okay with victimizing others is to first get them to be okay with slurring them.

With "othering" them.

And the best way to get them do that is to make it all a joke--all in fun. Until it's not. And all along, the jokesters are the only ones laughing.

The distance from laughing at someone to bashing someone isn't nearly as far as you would think.

"I have friends who greet me with "hey c*nt" who are empathetic, reliable and useful people."

Even if that's true, see above for why I say, 'So what?'"

"Do I think they mean it? No."

I think they might.

Either way, can you see why I have an interest in correcting my child when he's young? They've probably been saying things like that since they were kids and they went unchallenged.

We'd all be better off if children were raised better.

I mean, your friends are presumably adults and look at them. Just look!

"Do I think they somehow disregard all the struggles related to female reproduction? No. "

I' m not surprised. You don't even think there's a problem with associating gayness with badness. And you're wrong about that, so...

And I have to ask--your friends probably say other slurs that the "wokes" would be appalled by, all while remaining, according to you, "empathetic", "reliable," and "useful". Can you think of any?

I'll bet you can.

Are you courageous enough to tell us?

Or are they only to be whispered among friends or wielded where they will go unchallenged?

"What I do know is that I can get promoted content on Medium by pretending that I think they ARE in fact bigots."

You should give it a shot, then. I doubt you'd even have to do much pretending.